B.Log entry. xP

So… I have this obnoxious friend *B*, she won’t leave me alone! Recently she asked me what the restrictions and stuff is on cartilage piercings are because she wants one, even though she’s got less of a pain tolerance than I do, and I told her what I’ve told everyone else who wanted to know, thirteen years old, turn it three times a day, clean it twice a day, and she went and got it done.

Why? Because she has to have everything I have! It’s now infected!  (Hers, not mine.)  And when she got her cartilage done on her left side, she got her ear lobes pierced as well, so now we have the same freaking piercings, because she’s freaking obsessed with me!

And on top of that, she won’t leave me alone about Oireachtas, and my mom is rushing to make my dress, and I told her not to worry about it and please take her time with it, but if she doesn’t get it done *B* will start telling everyone what a horrible mom I have because she couldn’t get it done in time. When she has no idea how much time and effort these things take, and they can’t just be done overnight like she thinks they can.

I’m really sorry your mom can’t sew, I’m really sorry that your mom has no talent other than shoving things down her throat and laying on her back.  Okay, maybe not everything goes down her throat. She got pregnant with YOU after all.

That’s mean of me.  Mean Missy.  Bad Missy.  >.<

I wish people weren’t so horrible.

I wish people didn’t get happy because other people are suffering.

I wish SOME people understood that I’ve been through a lot more than they have, and need to stop thinking they have been through more.

They should be GRATEFUL for what they do have instead of just taking it all for granted. People don’t appreciate what they have when they have it, they appreciate it after it leaves. They have a brother that is still alive, they have a grandma that is still alive, yet they think that their life has been way worse than mine. I lost my little brother in 1999, it still kills me to think about that, I lost something that great in my life, and these people around me say “Oh well I’ve been through way more”.

No, you haven’t, you didn’t have to sit there in that funeral home and ask “Mommy, where’s Sammy? Why are people crying?” and have your own mother tell you that Sammy went to a better place. You will never be through more pain than I went through.

I was four years old, and yet I still remember that day like it just happened yesterday. You still have a brother, you still have a grandmother, and yet YOU take them for granted, YOU act like you can walk all over them and take stuff from them, these people that you say that you LOVE, but when they turn their backs you can just see the blood from the knives you’ve stuck in them.

Talk to me after you stand there and watch your Grandma die in a bed right in front of you.  Talk to me when you stand there and watch every breath getting lighter and her skin getting colder and you keep telling yourself  “she’s probably already in Heaven, she’s not hurting, she’s not in that body now,” but all you want is to jump in that bed and hug her and warm her up and make her not die.

You haven’t seen a living creature die right before your eyes, you won’t cry like I did when Willy or Jake died. You haven’t ever had a living creature die right in your hands, I have twice, you haven’t ever seen your favorite animal go into the vet half dead hoping for a cure of some sort and two seconds later they come out without him saying “I’m so sorry but your hamster passed away”.

You think it’s funny to see people get hurt. You think it’s funny to see people lose something so great in their life. Well I hope it happens to you sometime, because when it does, then maybe you’ll get some discipline into your system and some hurt into your system, and maybe, just maybe, you won’t be a miserable spoiled little BRAT.

Oh, and just for the record, you should understand you will never be happy, you will never be me, just because I’m happy with the things I do does NOT mean that you will be happy doing the things I do. You need to become your own person to find happiness, if you do that, you MIGHT have a little bit of a chance to not continue the path you’ve chosen to go down. You will NEVER have any of those experiences because you aren’t a real person. You can’t cry, because you have no heart.

You can bite me.


I am so happy

My grandma is here visiting from Washington and guess what? She is renewing my To-Shin Do fees for the black belt club which will pay for my NEXT THREE YEARS OF TO-SHIN DO LESSONS!!!!!! I think I am the luckiest person in the whole entire world right now!

Speaking of To-Shin Do, I get my next belt this month at the graduation ceremony. That one is yellow with a black stripe down the length of it. My next belt after that will be blue with a white stripe, then I will get: solid blue, blue with a black stripe, red with a white stripe, solid red, red with a black stripe, green with a white stripe, green, green with a black stripe, brown with a white stripe, brown, brown with a black stripe and then all kinds of black ones. There are 10 black levels in fact.

This has been such a great week! I could become spoiled if my grandma stays too long!! On Monday she took me birthday shopping (my birthday is not until November 16, but she won’t be here then so she took me now) and she got me a pair of pants, a Nightmare Before Christmas t-shirt, a package of 6 pairs of socks, 10 pairs of panties, a bra, and a pair of DC high-tops. I have a pair of DC’s but they’re not high-tops, so now I have both!

On Tuesday, my grandma took me shopping for fabric for my next solo dress and OMG you should see it. It is such beautiful fabric. It’s dark dark blue (almost black) with “twilight” colored sparkling designs in it. The designs are almost purple color. Part of the bodice will be silver and she got me some silver colored fabric with silver sequins on it for that. It is going to be beautiful when it is done! I haven’t completely decided on what kind of appliqués I want, I think I want triskeles or trinity knots but I just don’t know yet. It has to be perfect is all I know!!

Then on Wednesday she did the To-Shin Do thing and I am just so so sooooo lucky!!!

Today my mom is finishing my Halloween Costume. I am going to be a ninja raccoon. Yes, I know that sounds strange but that is what I am going to be! I have a black gi, plus a black belt (hah!) a black ninja mask-hood, a black tail (mom is making all that) and I even bought a set of fake ninja swords (they’re for kids, so they’re really cheesy but so what? LOL) at walmart.

Friday we are going to Indiana for dinner and to see the rest (well, most of them) of my Dad’s family.

Saturday I have dance (set dance class). My only totally free day each week is Friday now (except not this week!). My mom even lets me take off school work that day because I do extra to make up for it. I think I have the busiest schedule of everyone I know except maybe Tory!

Let’s see what else?? As my mom would say, “in other news” I think I might be coming down with the flu or something, because my sinuses are all messed up and I am starting to feel achy. Lucky me. My grandma has been here all week so if I am getting something she could wind up with it too and my mom and dad and the family in Indiana and dance people and To-Shin Do people and people in stores and stuff…. that is terrible to think of all the people who I might have infected already and didn’t even know I was getting sick. Plus who infected me? I have been around all kinds of people who are coughing and stuff. Oh well. I never stay sick for long when I get sick, so hopefully this will be done with quick!! The way my luck has been this week, I should be fine by tomorrow!! ^o^


New school year!

School has started, and I’m technically going into ninth grade, but I am studying tenth grade, because when next year rolls around I’m going to try for my GED and hopefully I will never have to look at another school book again, at least for a while. :) The only thing I’m worried about on the GED test is the math part, I’m really bad at math, but I have a program that’s helping me with it and hopefully I can get past this quickly so I can clean up some other stuff in school as well!

I’m graduating in To-Shin Do! I’m getting my yellow belt, and I’m a month ahead of schedule! :D This Friday I will be having my first graduation (of many!), I’m so excited!!!!!! I really hope I can remember everything I’ve learned! :)

Dance is going good, I have one Feis scheduled so far, Gem City and I hope I can kick some CA butt! Haha!!!

My gerbils had babies AGAIN, there are four more… I named the toddlers… Suzanne is the white one, Michelle is black, Sylvia is the name of the white, black and tan one, Buttercup is the marmalade one, and Roger is the tan and white! :D Four girls and one boy from the first batch!

Houdini got a girlfriend a while back, Bess is her name… She had babies, eight of them, and she kept getting all mad at him and biting him and finally he had enough and put her in her place. Just last night Bess realized how much she needed Houdini for her eight babies, so now they are cuddling in the house for the first time! :D Yay! And the babies are starting to get color, their ears are finally detaching from their heads and they’ll be getting fur and their eyes will be open soon.

I’m reading Twilight, I’m at chapter ten and I love it!!! I will be buying the first book and probably the second instead of just borrowing from my sister. :D

I’m taking music lessons now as well! My first lesson went good! It was for singing and I hope I can throw in a couple of my instruments! I have a keyboard, an acoustic guitar, pennywhistles, and my dads electric guitar that I’m sure I could borrow for music lessons. :D

I’m so excited about school! This is going to hopefully be the next to last year I have to look at another school paper! This will be so much fun! I’m going to be writing papers and putting them on my blog. I should go find some math papers for me to practice with! :D

I’m going to be using my mom’s embroidery machine to make An-Shu a gold dragon for his birthday party at the dojo on September ninth. :D

Well, that’s all I have to say for now! Bye!!!!

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So I keep forgetting to blog

So I decided to blog now… I got a gerbil and I named him Jimmy,  A couple days later I got my robo hamster.  I finally named him Charlie.

Debbie had babies on Wednesday of last week, but they were WAY little, and all of them died or got eaten or something. There were four and then the next day there were none. Mom and I cleaned out all the tank, EVERYTHING, and there were no babies, no bodies, nothing. YUCK!

Then the next day, Friday, MARY had babies. I think she had five. There’s at least four. I’m not sure, because I’m not getting anywhere near them to find out. I don’t want anything to happen to them. It’s Wednesday and they’re still alive, so hopefully they’ll make it.

The funny thing is, Mary and Debbie BOTH are nursing them! It’s like they’re both the moms or something. I know they’re all Mary’s babies, but Debbie is like a mom too.

We had Celtic Festival this weekend and it was fun. We got sunburned, but mine faded like the next day. Mom is STILL red. I danced all three days, on the main stage.

Mom is making my new dress. It’s all cut out and about half of the embroidery is done but she’s had a lot of stuff on her mind and a lot of stuff she had to do, and I don’t know if it will be done in time for Columbus or not. That’s this coming Saturday.

Later in August we have Lansing too. And then in September we have St. Louis. I wanted to go to Chicago for Pat Roche but Mom doesn’t know if we’re going to have the money or not. Grandma Jeannie is paying for St. Louis and that’s the only reason we can go to that one. I hope we can go to Pat Roche. Gem City sign ups are now and Mom doesn’t know whether she should just sign me up or not. I REALLY want to go to Pat Roche. But if we can’t, I don’t want to get locked out of Gem City.

Well, that’s all for now.