Well, I had my meltdown
Had half-convinced myself I wasn’t gonna do it this year.
Hah! So this morning about 10:00 I had my annual July 10 meltdown. Interestingly — oddly? — I cried first for Mom and how much I missed her. It was while in the midst of crying for her, I realized the date and began crying as well for Sam. And interestingly as well, I began crying for my Grandma and my Great-Grandma (who died the year I was born, and I never laid eyes on her) too.
What a melancholy way to start the day!
Strangely though, instead of feeling drained and saddened, I feel rejuvenated and cleansed. Ready to tackle the world almost.
I’m okay. Despite it being 13 years to the day since Sam died. Despite it being 5 years and 7 months since Mom died. Despite having just quit my job after 13 years. Despite not having my health back entirely. Despite despite despite … because you know what? It’s a whole new world out there and I’m alive to see it!