Well, I had my meltdown

Had half-convinced myself I wasn’t gonna do it this year.

Hah! So this morning about 10:00 I had my annual July 10 meltdown. Interestingly — oddly? — I cried first for Mom and how much I missed her. It was while in the midst of crying for her, I realized the date and began crying as well for Sam. And interestingly as well, I began crying for my Grandma and my Great-Grandma (who died the year I was born, and I never laid eyes on her) too.

What a melancholy way to start the day!

Strangely though, instead of feeling drained and saddened, I feel rejuvenated and cleansed. Ready to tackle the world almost.

I’m okay. Despite it being 13 years to the day since Sam died. Despite it being 5 years and 7 months since Mom died. Despite having just quit my job after 13 years. Despite not having my health back entirely. Despite despite despite … because you know what? It’s a whole new world out there and I’m alive to see it!

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