The Original Musings

And quite possibly one of the coolest things I’ve seen in quite a while

You have to open this in Google Chrome.   So … load up a Chrome browser window …

Now, click on ***this link***.  When prompted, enter an old address you used to live at. Or your Mom’s old address when she was growing up, Dad’s childhood address, Grandma’s house, your old school, whatever — just pick some address that means something to you. Now sit back and enjoy the show.

And when you’re done with that one … come back here and play with this one:

Be aware! The definition of racism is changing!

Admit it … almost had you going there, didn’t it?

Apparently that’s what the Papa John’s rep thought I was saying when I filed my complaint

Yesterday, I stupidly got the notion that I would like to place an order with Papa John’s Pizza. I don’t often order pizza for delivery in the first place and I honestly cannot think of the last time we ordered from Papa John’s. I did remember though that we stopped ordering over the telephone because you can never hear them when you try to place the order and they invariably screw it up and then insist that’s what you said. We only order online to prevent any such problems.

So, I logged on to the website. As I mentioned, it had been quite a while since we ordered so I was fairly certain that they did not have an accurate phone number for us. I first went to check on my account details to verify — sure enough, they had our old land line listed. I changed it to my cell phone number (since we haven’t had a land line for a few years now) and hit “submit.” I was informed that the number I listed was not a valid home phone number.

So, I removed the home phone number entirely and entered my cell phone number as a mobile number, chose my carrier and hit submit. I was informed that (a) this number (which I have had since 1999) was already in their system (but not associated with my account) and (b) that I *must* enter a home number. I then re-entered the cell number in both fields, chose my carrier and hit submit. No go. I tried it again. Still no luck.

After attempting multiple times, in multiple configurations — even going so far as to try to delete my “home” information and set up a whole new “location” with the correct information — to get it to recognize that I don’t have a frickin’ land line and this is *my* damn cell phone number, I finally gave up. I fired off a complaint notice using their web form (which insisted I must list the store which I was dealing with, there are no options for “I’m not dealing with a damn store, it’s your stupid website”) and advised them as follows:

I was trying to place an order, but the system will not allow me to modify my phone number — it has 937-4xx-xxxx which is my **former** home phone number. Every time I try to change it, I am told that the number I am entering –937-2xx-xxxx (which is my cell phone number and has been since 1999) — is already in the system, and to enter a valid number. I also cannot enter this number as my mobile number as it says that this is already in the system, but not associated with my account apparently. I can’t enter a home phone because we no longer have a land line. I can’t enter my cell phone because your system seems to think it isn’t mine. If I can’t enter my phone number and can’t correct incorrect information, I cannot place an order with valid information. I don’t know where the problem is, but I do know you just lost an order for 2 pizzas and 4 sandwiches. I’d appreciate it if someone could reset my account so that I can enter my VALID information and not be told it isn’t valid so that if I ever again stupidly decide I want to order from Papa John’s maybe I’ll be able to do so.

Yeah, I was torqued. I know I could have just bitten the bullet and called the store. Maybe they’ve gotten better phone lines or equipment and have now mastered the art of not sounding like they’re standing in Grand Central Station trying to take your order. Maybe over time they’ve managed to hire a chimpanzee who can actually take — and fill — an order correctly. That was not the point, however. In our past experience, they can’t take an order right. Even when they repeat it back properly, it arrives at your house incorrect and then they swear up and down that you ordered what you got. The only way I trust Papa John’s to take an order is online where I have a copy of the damn order. Besides, by the time I was done dealing with their stupid system trying to make what should have been a 30-second change, I no longer had the time to wait for delivery, we had to leave to get to To-Shin Do graduation on time.

So when I came home, I had received this reply:

Dear Online Customer,

To change your e-mail and password -

1. Login to your accout from our website (www.papajohns.com).

2. Click on the “Modify Account” link at the top of the Main Menu.

3. This will take you to a page titled, “Modify Account”

4. Make the appropriate changes and select the Submit button at the bottom of the screen.

5. Your change has been completed.

Also, please note when changing personal information, you will still need to update the Delivery Information Screen before placing your first order with your new information. Click on “Change Location” from the Main Menu to update Delivery Information.

Customer Opportunity Desk
Papa John’s International
1-877-547-7272 option 2 (staffed 10am-3am Eastern Standard Time 7days a week)

In other words, the “customer opportunity” rep advised me step-by-step how to “do what you did in the first place to enter the information, you dumbass.” (Actually, if you want to get technical, he/she advised me how to change my email or password, which is done following the same basic directions, but which is not even close to what I asked. So really, this reply is not only insulting, it’s technically wrong.)

My response:

If you had actually read my complaint email, you would seen I have already tried this. I am not stupid. Here is a capture of my attempt to do the very thing your instructions below advise me to do …

You’ll notice there’s no “carrier” listed on that capture. When you “submit” and it returns an error message, it removes the carrier information. So what do you want to bet they next try to tell me the whole problem is simply that I didn’t choose my carrier?

This is beautiful

First, look at the photo under the fold, then answer the question. That’s all there is to it!

Tip o’the ol’ hat to Linda D. who sent this one along.

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This will make you smile!

An enterprising little penguin — slated to be lunch for a killer whale — takes a chance and escapes death.

Told you it’d make you smile!

I wanna know how they’re gonna keep a straight face when she goes to court on this one

Sue sent this one along. It happened right here in Hamilton County, Ohio (near Cincinnati).

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

Hamilton, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

She was not, however, accused of using the pipe while she was driving and masturbating and watching an X-rated film, the title of which was not released.

I figured you’d wanna see her mugshot, so it’s under the fold.

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This has been all over the local news since it happened

And apparently now it’s gone national. First, watch the video … this was captured just after 7:00 a.m. Monday morning by a Sugarcreek Township (Ohio) police cruiser dashcam. Cop is driving southbound on 675 (just past the Greene, for you local folks) going to investigate a report of a tire in the road, when all of a sudden along comes 19-year old Brennan Eden.

But it gets better. First of all, the kid is alive. In critical condition, and no one knows if he’ll pull through, but he’s alive. Thanks to the fact that he went flying (almost literally) past that Sugarcreek cop, Careflight was on the scene almost instantly.

Secondly, the kid had just been arrested here in Beavercreek at 6:13 a.m. and had been released just 15 minutes prior to the crash.

Beavercreek police said Tuesday that they had arrested Eden at 6:13 a.m. Monday on charges including possession of alcohol, drug paraphernalia and drug abuse after he was found with a 15-year-old Beavercreek girl in the parking lot near the corner of Beaver Vu Drive and North Fairfield Road.

The officer approached the vehicle because it was in the parking lot of a closed business at such an early hour. The officer found an unopened can of alcohol, a trace of marijuana and drug paraphernalia in the car.

The girl was cited and released to her father. Eden was given a court summons and released.

[snip!]

In November 2009, Eden was cited by the Ohio State Highway Patrol for driving 90 mph in an 65 mph zone, according to records filed in the Fairborn Municipal Court.

He’s 19, for God’s sake. If he lives through this, I hope he’s *finally* learned his lesson about speeding. If he hasn’t, I hope he stays the hell away from this area. I have to drive right through there four days out of the week and I don’t want to encounter him. My sister lives right off the exit where it happened, and I don’t want her to encounter him either. He needs to go back home to Mason and stay there. And stay the hell away from The Beach and anywhere Maggie or Joel might be.

Dayton Daily News | Whio-TV | Channel 2 News footage about the crash (same dashcam footage, but also includes interviews with cops and witnesses):