No

Absinthe is meant to be mixed with water and sugar. Well, there's more of a method to it than that and, apparently, it used to be considered an art. Still, people who just want to drink absinthe straight out of the bottle are insane. It's not meant to be tasted that way. It's no wonder you thought it was terrible though I am not convinced even diluting it with water and sugar it's any better.

Says the manufacturer:

A perfect gift for the sweet-toothed pork aficianado [sic] in your life.

As far as I'm aware, I don't have any Pork Aficionados in my life -- "sweet-toothed," or otherwise. And if I did know someone unbalanced enough to call themself a Pork Aficionado, you can be damned certain I wouldn't feed their perversion by purchasing Maple Bacon Lollipops for them.

How would you know whether someone was a Pork Aficionado anyway? I sure as Hell can't imagine ever feeling the need to spontaneously ask someone, "Hey, are you a Pork Aficionado?" So presumably, they'd have to mention it.

But how does someone work that into a conversation in the first place? Surely that's not the sort of thing one just announces without preamble, is it? Presumably you have to already be talking about pork, for some bizarre reason -- but even then, they wouldn't just leap right into the proclamation. So you must stand there talking about pork at length; and during the conversation, presumably this person first demonstrates their wide and thorough knowledge of pork products.

Perhaps they begin by casually mentioning the difference between American bacon and Canadian bacon -- to which you foolishly say, "Oh, that's interesting" -- and then, encouraged, they explain the difference between rashers and pancetta; and then they move on to the difference between Capocollo and Prosciutto, and confide their preference for the latter with a nudge and a wink; and finally, perhaps they rattle off a list of their favorite cuts of pork, or simply burst into rhapsody about their recipe for Iberian Pork Loin…

…until at last, overhwhelmed, you say, "Hey, you sure do know a lot about dead pigs."

And they reply, "Oh, thanks -- I'm a Pork Aficionado."

Tell me: At this point, are you inclined to encourage their bizarre fascination?

************

By the way, the company that makes those disgusting lollipops is called…

LOLLYPHILE

…which seems vaguely suggestive of something entirely different from either lollipops or pork. If I'd seen that name alone, without the contents of the page, I'd have expected pictures of Japanese schoolgirls in various states of undress.

Although I suppose some of them could have been sucking lollipops… oh yeeeaaah…

Quoth Jeanette:

Absinthe is meant to be mixed with water and sugar. Well, there's more of a method to it than that and, apparently, it used to be considered an art.

Still is. The Ritual is an essential part of the Absinthe experience.

Got several of the spoons myself. Wish I had a small Fountain to go with them.

Come to think of it, wish I had the Absinthe to use the spoons with. It's rather pricy, you know -- $50 a bottle and up for the good stuff. That tends to make it a special treat for rare occasions, rather than a regular indulgence.

Still, people who just want to drink absinthe straight out of the bottle are insane. It's not meant to be tasted that way.

Drinking it straight is admittedly not the proper way to drink it, but it's hardly insane. The primary reason to water it down is simply that Absinthe usually has a very high alcohol content -- typically around 150 proof, and sometimes as high as 180. Weakening the powerfully aromatic flavor (and sugaring it up a bit) is only secondary, and the extent to which one does so is a matter of personal taste.

And while I prefer it the proper way, I can (and have) endured Absinthe straight -- and that'll clear your fucking sinuses out, I assure you. I truly believe the legendary "Ethereal" effects are less attributable to any chemicals in the Wormwood than to the simple fact that it blasts open your breathing passages -- the massive increase in oxygen rendering you wide awake and fully alert, despite being drunk.

You could probably achieve a similar effect by sucking on a pile of Fisherman's Friend® lozenges while swigging Everclear®.

It's no wonder you thought it was terrible though I am not convinced even diluting it with water and sugar it's any better.

Again, it's a matter of personal taste. If you can't abide the taste of Wormwood, Anise, or Fennel -- the three primary ingredients -- then you aren't going to like Absinthe, whether it's watered down or not.

Well, the time I drank it, it was in a weird glass, that you filled to the first ridge with absinthe (I'd guess about a shot's worth?) then there was a slotted spoon thing you put two sugar cubes on and poured water over it, to let the sugar dissolve down into the glass. As the crap dissolved, it got stinkier and cloudy looking. (I was assured this was the desired effect and that it would be "awesome" to drink and that the anise would be diluted.) After the confectionary dream had come to a head (or something to that effect) I was told to sip it.

One sip. That's all it took.

I *despise* anise. Hate it hate it hate it. Absinthe BAD.

Knight Owl, I followed your "ritual" link -- that glass shown was *very similar* to the one used in San Antonio when I drank the vile stuff.

In my case, the middle part of the glass was another bulb and THEN there was a fluted part -- the amount of water added to melt the sugar and dilute the stuff was supposed to fill the second bulb.

We probably used the dummy cups -- take out all the guesswork and make it easy.

Only problem was, the shit was still ANISE flavored. Yuck. Ptooey.

Then presumably, you don't like Ouzo -- the Greek liquor (and don't you dare forget it, or they'll sue you), which is supposedly heavily flavored by anise.

I've never tried Ouzo, but I've been told that it's slightly similar in flavor to Absinthe -- although even higher in alcohol content. I gather Ouzo is usually watered down too, like Absinthe.

Never really had any interest in trying Ouzo, though.

Absinthe has a 'mystique' to help sell it. It's associated with 19th Century Paris, and artists like Van Gogh and Toulouse Lautrec; and it features prominently as an element in the art of that time, sometimes even as the subject. It's got the legends of its psychoactive effects, the rumors of it causing madness, the story of how it was banned -- and as a result, nowadays it also has the subtle thrill of its questionable legality.

Absinthe has la Fée Verte -- the Mystique of the Green Fairy.

Ouzo just makes me think of sweaty fat Greek dudes.

You're correct, I despise Ouzo as well. I had it at a Greek wedding in Cleveland about 25 years ago.

I also don't like anise cookies.

I flat out don't do black licorice. I don't like the black jellybeans. I don't like the black gum balls. I don't like anise, period.

Oh, and I can't take those "Fisherman's Friend" things either.

Oh god, I hate Ouzo. I'm with Kate, I don't like anise and I've never actually TRIED absinthe mainly for that reason.