The Original Musings

More tattoo and piercing pics

Along with a couple I’m not sure are real. (Numbers 50 and 63 — I hope like hell #50 is a photoshop and #63, if it’s legit, is just gross.) There’s also one with motion in it, I included the motion variation of it, obviously it doesn’t really move like that, but it is apparently a real tattoo. The one with “puff” in it (dragonsnipeyike, #51), I have seen before and yes, that really is a real tattoo. The one called “no fucking way” well … the procedures that must have been required to accomplish that one are enough to turn the stomach.

The things people will do to themselves … you’ll find ‘em all in the “Why is everyone STARING at me?!” album.  Enjoy! (?)

We’ll call this one …

“Why is everyone STARING at me?!”

Enjoy!  (And yes, I’ll take submissions if you have some to contribute!)

… from the Mutt Lange School of Boneheaded Moves by Dumbass Men

Mutt Lange left the lady on the left — Shania Twain (and that’s not even a particularly good picture of her) — for the lady on the right, who was a former friend of Shania’s and the Lange’s (likewise married) housekeeper. Mutt’s decision left men (and women) all over the world going “dude, what’s wrong with you?”

Tiger Woods fooled around with a dozen or more women despite being married to a beautiful woman (it would take too much space to try to post all the pictures of his many mistresses). And in fairness to Tiger at least most of his were decent looking. And he apparently made it crystal clear to each of them that he wasn’t going to leave his wife and marry them or anything like that. Does that mitigate it at all?

Jesse James used to be married to a tattoo’d porn star who just got out of jail and he is currently (probably not for a whole lot longer!) married to one of the prettiest women in the world, Sandra Bullock. Sandy recently helped her husband win custody of his young daughter with his former wife. You’d think that might earn her a little bit of loyalty if nothing else, but James has apparently taken some lessons from Mutt Lange and has jumped feet first into the world of down-trading. This phenomena is often referred to as nature reasserting things the way they were meant to be — white trash will always sink to the bottom, and it’s a shame Sandra Bullock forgot that when she married some.

Dropping the rest of this under the fold so I don’t have to keep looking at the photos of the skanks. There’s some updates under there too!

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On our local Craigslist

In the *barter* section. This really raises a whole bunch of questions.

Date: 2009-05-08, 5:30PM EDT

i have a brand new sex swing my dad got as a gift but my mom will not use becuuse she is scared of heights so looking trade 4 whatever has a big spring so ……… email me what u have 2 trade

• Location: springfield
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

First of all … Crimoney, where do I start? Okay … first … what kind of person gives another person who is not their spouse or SO a “sex swing” as a gift? Second — what kind of person admits to their college age son that they were given such a device? Third — and mentions to his son that his mom won’t use it? Which means, presumably, that dad would have. (Eww factor 11!) Fourth — and asks said son to try to unload the device on Craigslist?

Come to think of it … what is he talking about with the spring?

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Now playing: Blake Shelton – This Can’t Be Good
via FoxyTunes

I just really don’t think I do

No.  I can’t get past the cat, man.  What’s with the cat?  Don’t answer that.
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Now playing: Jimmy Buffett – Vampires, Mummies and the Holy Ghost
via FoxyTunes

“Who’s Older?” was the question

“Not Dirt,” wasn’t an option.  Holy Moses, time has not been kind, has it:?

Can you identify the two ladies — and determine which is the older of the two?

Your time starts now … 30 seconds to name ‘em both.   Another 10 to identify the older of the two.

Answers under the fold.

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And her husband Matthew Broderick

Are expecting twins.  Via a surrogate. So they’re not expecting twins, the surrogate is.  But they’re getting all the credit.

I don’t know if I really care about that part of it.  So they’re using a surrogate.  So what?  At the same time, though, it seems kind of wrong to give them credit for them.  They’re not the ones baking them, after all.

Anyhow.

The point.  (Yes, there is one.)

They really are an odd looking couple, aren’t they? Her head is just too big for her body.  And she’s all yellow.  Is that fake and bake or does she spend her days under a tanning light?  Or maybe it’s jaundice? And him.  He’s *pink*!  Sickly, pale pink.  Does he never get out in the sunlight?

And I know people who think she’s gorgeous.  Eww.  I’m sorry, but she’s not gorgeous.  Shania Twain?  There’s gorgeous.  Kristin Chenoweth?  Stunning.

Sarah Jessica Parker?

Eww.

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Now playing: Lil Mama – Shawty Get Loose

via FoxyTunes

“And you can have my body,” said he

Oh, what a tempting offer.  How can I ever resist.

Is this supposed to be a good offer?  What if I don’t want either — not his mind, or his body?   And what the hell?  No face?  Am I supposed to be so enraptured by the hot bod that I don’t even care what he looks like?  Rather shallow supposition, no?

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Now playing: 70′s Music Explosion – Ring My Bell
via FoxyTunes

National Debt updated …

$11,189,382,518,232.75

Makes ya sick, doesn’t it?